Why Are You Afraid of What You Want?

Ask These 4 Questions to Gain Clarity

Q: “I am really clear about what I want (to start my own business), but I seem to be paralyzed in getting things going. I have a good job that pays the bills, but I want my own company. How do I stop being afraid of what I want? -Campbell 


A: Campbell, you are encountering what holds back most people from what they want. Your “good” is keeping you from your “great.” What that means is that you are stuck between a good job and a great opportunity. Because you have a good job that pays the bills, there isn’t enough pain to push you towards your goal. On the other side, you have some uncertainty around what you don’t have yet (the new business). 


In coaching, we can do some “time-travelling” to explore different scenarios and create more energy around taking the best steps forward. Here are some questions to help you get more clarity:


  1. Imagine yourself ten years from now, in the same job as you are now. Will you be happy that ten years have passed, or will you be miserable because you have let another decade go by?

  2. Imagine yourself ten years from now, with your new business thriving, all as a result of you taking the risk required to make it happen. Are you happier in this scenario compared to the scenario where you stay in your existing job?

  3. Assuming you are happier ten years from now, having created your new business, what were the first few steps you took to make it happen?

  4. Did you leave your current job altogether, or did you keep your job and reorganize other aspects of your life to make time to build your new business?


The answers to those and other questions will help you create clarity amongst some of the fog of what you are currently experiencing. Instead of feeling stuck or paralyzed, you can make choices that allow you to build the future you want. 



Combining over 30 years in the field of self-development, Rod is the CEO of the Certified Coaches Federation, one of the largest coach education companies in the world, and a speaker, coach and author. For more information on the Certified Coaches Federation, visit www.certifiedcoachesfederation.com and for more information on Rod, visit www.indestructiblehuman.com.  


Want to ask Tonic’s Coach a question? Send a brief email to rod@indestructiblehuman.com describing your challenge in 50 words or less, and one question will be selected per issue. 


Categories: Emotional Health & Wellness