How Can You Achieve Your Goals?

Look To Your Support Network

Q: “I have some pretty big goals that I believe that I can achieve, yet the people closest to me (my wife, my parents, my siblings, my friends) all discourage me or tell me straight up that I could never achieve them. What should I do?” -Hugh 


A: Hugh, you are voicing one of the main reasons why people think they aren’t achieving their goals; their support network. The truth is that while your support network can help you achieve your goals, your goals and what it takes to achieve them are all on you


If anyone ever says something to you that you believe has held you back, it is because you allowed it to. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” It would be nice if everyone who was important to us supported everything we do; the truth is they won’t. The upside is the reason they aren’t a reliable source of support is precisely the reason they are important to you; they love you. Because they love you, they want to protect you from harm, real or imagined. If they imagine harm coming to you, they will discourage you from doing something that may result in harm. Ask yourself the following questions,

  • Who around you will support you unconditionally? Spend more time with them and less with people who seem to hold you back.

  • Who will challenge you, but still support you? You do need people to keep you in check, but also accept you and your choices.

  • Do you need some new supporters? Many people have the same people around them for their whole lives. Use your goals to find new people who will help you, support you, possibly because they are working towards the same goal. This is where a coach can be very helpful.

  • Do you know people who have achieved what you want to achieve? Find people who have already achieved your goal and ask for help, support, advice, suggestions, etc. While not everyone will be generous with their time, some will, and their advice may be invaluable in helping you.


Your goals are your responsibility, and yours alone. Next time someone tries to discourage you, smile and thank them for looking out for you, and go and achieve the goal anyway.



Combining over 30 years in the field of self-development, Rod is the CEO of the Certified Coaches Federation, one of the largest coach education companies in the world, and a speaker, coach and author. For more information on the Certified Coaches Federation, visit and for more information on Rod, visit  


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Categories: Emotional Health & Wellness