Just Eat and Drink Whatever You Want
Don’t bother exercising and don’t even bother brushing your teeth. While you’re at it, put on a hoodie backwards and use the hood like a feed bag, filling it with a combination of chips, cookies, and some multi-coloured candies. Cancel your gym membership and use your running shoes exclusively for non-fitness related activities like eating at mall food courts, walking from your car to the candy store and taking out the garbage, only if no one else will. If you have any sweat pants, wear them proudly in public, and vow never to sweat in them again.
Avoid the self-development section of the bookstore, and in fact, avoid bookstores altogether unless you are there to get a baked treat from the café found therein. Surround yourself with people who underachieve and whose life motto could be summed up as “lower the bar!” Think how much easier your life would be if all your friends and acquaintances were at least as lazy and junk food-loving as you.
You have one shot at this life and you should enjoy it. Squeeze out as much of that juice from that orange you’ll never eat again since eating fruit and vegetables is so passé. Find some deep-fried, dead animals to eat and slather them in any kind of sauce that contains ingredients that are hard to pronounce. While you’re at it, why not take up smoking and excessive drinking? Throw in a few recreational drugs and you will likely have a lot of great stories to tell. And then you’ll be dead.
No one who died an early death of heart disease or cancer has ever been caught saying they wish they took worse care of themselves. It is true that you have one shot at this life, so instead of hurting yourself with choices that are likely going to shorten your life, do the things that may take a little more effort now, but will make all the difference in the long run. The average Canadian will live to 81. The difference is that the unfit people will suffer through their last 10 years or more with disease and pain, while the fit people will have a few tough weeks at the end. It is never too late to get more out of life, but it takes a commitment of time and effort to get a return on your investment, but the return is huge. Make better choices and you make a better life.
Combining almost 30 years of fitness and wellness, Rod is the vice president of canfitpro, the largest provider of education in the Canadian fitness industry. Overseeing this dynamic 100,000 member organization, Rod continues to propel its growth and position as a leader in the global fitness industry. Rod is also a best-selling author, editor, cross-Canada cyclist, NLP Practitioner, RYT 200, Certified Coach Practitioner, and 4-time Ironman finisher. www.canfitpro.com