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What is Your Relationship with Money

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Whenever I work with people who have a tremendous amount of unmanageable debt and money issues, it seems that their emotional state of being and self-esteem are commensurate with their money problems. I anecdotally observe that the more debt a person has, the lower their self-esteem seems to be. The question I pose is which came first, the debt or the self-esteem problem? At first glance, one might think it is the debt and the money worry that are causing the negative self talk and self-esteem issues, but I believe it is the emotional issues that create the fertile soil for having an unconscious or dysfunctional relationship with money.

Our money thoughts are influenced by what we have learned about money from parents, relatives, religious institutions, or schools, and will be with us forever if left unchecked as our “money blueprint”. This is the foundation that guides all of our unconscious, subconscious, and even conscious decisions. It cannot and will not change on its own and every choice we make about money is based on that blueprint. If one is not aware of their blueprint then they cannot change it. We cannot change what we are not aware of.

T. Harv Ecker, a fantastic and inspiring speaker and author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind says, “It all comes down to this: if your subconscious “financial blueprint” is not ‘set’ for success, nothing you learn, nothing you know, and nothing you do will make much of a difference.” The only way to change your experience with money is to change your blueprint about money. One needs to combat the poverty thinking so that the money that does come in stays. That is, if you are someone that has a poverty mindset, even if you win the lottery, that money will not stay or stick with you.

The various poverty beliefs, thoughts, and actions that determine your vibration include: feeling unworthy or undeserving, blind spending, feeling obligated, and irresponsibility. These will all contribute to the loss of the money and prosperity that comes your way. Many people who win the lottery end up in a worse state financially after winning than prior to the win as they lose it all. They curse the lottery as the thing that ruined their life. If they had only done some work on their money blueprint!

Ecker says that the key is to changing your money experience is to do a deep study into your life. Investigate your beliefs around money and wealth generally. With this awareness you can then change what is not supporting your wealth blueprint. To determine where you are at in the moment, you need to simply see what the state of your finances, your health, and your relationships are as what is happening in one aspect of your life is affecting other places too. If you are stingy with your love, chances are you are stingy with your money and vice versa. Look into the every aspect of your life if you want to see what is really going on in the money vibration realm.

There is great scientific evidence of the plasticity of the mind. Imagination, visualization, focus, cognitive repetition, affirmations, meditation, and exposure to different thoughts, beliefs and life experiences are all ways to plastify your mind and push it into a new way of thinking.

This is very exciting knowledge because even though changing your old and hardened beliefs around money will take effort and discipline on your part, it certainly can happen. There is no way around the mountain of work. But no matter your background belief system, change will happen if you put energy into it. If you focus on changing and bettering your money blueprint you will soon reap the rewards.

Some sample exercises to change your money blueprint include:

1. Spend daily time visualizing yourself in a life where money is your friend as opposed to a source of difficulty. The more you visualize yourself having a positive relationship to money with detailed imagery and specific visuals, the more you will begin to develop the neural pathways associated with the new beliefs.

2. Track your spending for at least 60 days so you know exactly what you are doing with money. Change your spending habits based on your new awareness. Pay off debt diligently.

3. Seek out a support group that will assist you in staying on the journey. Many people go to Debtors Anonymous 12-step groups along side therapy to deepen their changes and to expose themselves to people who are on similar journeys.

The path to shifting your vibration around money is a worthy one, as we all deserve to have ease in life. I encourage each and every one of you to explore and do the work needed to get yourself to where you want to be regarding your money experience. You are worth it and you are valuable!

 

Victoria Lorient-Faibish MEd, CCC, RPP, RPE Holistic Psychotherapist/Life Coach,
has been in her field since 1990. In addition to her Masters degree in Educational Psychology, she has over 8 years of training in eastern philosophy body-centered modalities, including Polarity Therapy, Reiki, and Craniosacral. Her passion for the holistic way has evolved into both a unique and powerful transformational therapy in which people of all walks of life successfully come to change, empower, recreate, and heal their lives. Victoria provides brief and long-term Transformational Holistic Psychotherapy, Motivation and Inspiration, Life Coaching, Parts Integration Therapy, Stress-Reduction, New Decision Therapy™, Couples Therapy, Polarity Therapy, Reiki, and Trauma Therapy. For more information about Victoria, you can visit www.visualizationworks.com

 


Comments (2)

Nilima
Said this on 6-8-2011 At 05:25 pm

It's interesting how much most of us shy away from the topic money, thereby perpetuating our unhealthy relationship with it. As an addition to the visualization exercise I would suggest imagining money as a person and even talking to it - that way you can quite literally develop a positive relationship with money.

Reply to this Comment
Alexandra
Said this on 11-24-2011 At 11:39 am
What a joy to find smoonee else who thinks this way.
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