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What Didn't Make It Into The Roadtrip Feature

If you read my travel article about our family road trip (p. 38), you might come to the conclusion that it was a week of blissful transcendent serenity and family fun. And, for the most part, it was an excellent trip, - and every positive thing I wrote is 100% 98% true. Of course, if you put five people in a car for too long there’s bound to be conflict. Not every meal is scrumptious. Sometimes the hotel room smells suspiciously of too much disinfectant.  So, in the interest of accuracy, and for your voyeuristic pleasure I present three travel piece omissions.

1.When you’re in a restaurant and you order a dish that is named after the city you’re in, you have an expectation that dish will be good. So, ordering the “Clevelander” with perogies, eggs, cheese, potatoes, for lunch, in Cleveland, should be a no-brainer. However, the disappointment of a bland, mushy, meal of poor quality resulted in us coining the phrase; “You’ve been Clevelandered.” -defined as the pain of a lousy meal compounded by the misplaced assumption you’d made the contextually appropriate menu choice. #poorSarahwasClevelandered

2. When planning a road trip it is important not to disclose too much information to the family in advance. I’m not saying lie. But if none of your teenage kids asks if they’re sharing beds, don’t volunteer said details until you’re already on the road. Similarly, if your wife inquires how long the drive from Chicago to Port Dover is - and you know it is going to be more than seven hours, you might answer; “Well, that depends on traffic and how many bathroom breaks you need.” Junk food, while being manifestly unhealthy can, however, effectively suppress an in-car mutiny. #hypocritehealthandwellnesspublisher

3. There are no pictures of me zip-lining in this magazine. While I certainly disclosed my fear of heights in the article - I perhaps underreported the depths of my anxiety. And while I thought I was doing a good job of masking my feelings, every single picture of me expresses a different shade of awkward distress. In my head, I was smiling for the camera. In actuality I am making a terrified grimace. I can’t even describe the pictures of me rappelling, except to say they were repellant. #nevertobepublished

While there are no zip-line fail photos in this issue of Tonic there are many interesting articles to read. Lisa Cantkier suggests nine alternatives to the sandwich (p 37). Marni Wasserman has ideas on how you can become a “morning person” (p.42). Carlyle Jansen helps you assess what is your conflict style (p. 22). And last, but not least, we bring you all the information on our newest event OmT.O. Fit For Fall - a full day of free exercise, yoga, pilates and meditation classes all designed to energize you for everything you want to do this fall (p.25). As always, if you want to share your thoughts on this note or anything else in this issue of Tonic, please feel free to contact me.